Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, August 11, 2005


Mercury. Yeah. That's it. Mercury.

What IS the deal with Paris Hilton?

Can someone please tell me what the fascination is? Because I am terribly, terribly confused. In fact, bewildered would be an understatement.

Her parents have money and she is super skinny and wears clothes really well. Having stated this, we have seem to have run the entire gamut of her talents.

She has, perhaps and overdeveloped sense of self esteem. I glean this insight from the manner in which she solemnly holds her teacup tinkerbell and ceremoniously declares "that's hot" as she flips her hair to the side and averts her eyes. She carries this declaration out as though she is bestowing her profound wisdom unto blessed chosen disciples. She is a self declared oracle of fads. Orwellian in her insight into the bleak future of fashion. She predicts who will remain standing when the designer shit hits the fan.

She also seems to be an exhibitionist. If I look at her through my lens of psychological disorders, I must admit I do find her more interesting and slightly tolerable.

She might be better served by a few hours with a therapist than by gangs of paparazzi. It seems they just feed the beast.

Personally, I think I might be better served if I saw less of her, but how can one know what one has yet to experience?

I see her skinny mug everywhere. From MSN to US Magazine. Do they have no decent content? Do people actually want to see her picture everywhere? Do they want to know her thoughts? Fears? Dreams?

I can tell you all of them:

Here goes......

"That's Hot"

Is this what I want my daughter to see and admire? To strive for?

Hmmm... Let's see:

Is she funny? Not that I have seen. Perhaps funny in her airheaded antics, but she certainly lacks WIT. WIT is funny. Paris is not.

Is she intelligent? A resounding NO. I have yet to hear her utter anything remotely coherent.

Is she talented? I suppose that would depend on your opinion of her self made movie. Based on anecdotal evidence of an unofficial poll of people I know who have seen "the video", that answer is no. I heard she just sat there like a stoned carp. I was told that if her costar had any wits about him, he would be embarrassed by her painfully obvious lack of enthusiasm throughout their well documented evening of fornication.

She appears to have TERRIBLE taste in men. Based on the above paragraph, this is redundant, really.

Do I want my daughter running around flashing her bare crotch with wild abandon as light bulbs flash? No. Not even if she does it all while very well dressed.

Where does the Paris Hilton preoccupation come from?

My theory: DENIAL. The world is a scary place. Our minds are full. They are full with a smattering jumble of passwords. They are full of questions. What to make for dinner, how to get through another day with too little time, too little money. The disappearing ozone layer. Terrorism. And then there's that whole issue with not trusting our own elected leaders. Or is that just me?

My point: People don't want someone who makes them THINK.

You know, this "the world is a dismal place and we are all going to die poor" thing happened in the late 70's / early 80's. Back then, people coped by making funny movies like "Airplane!" as a diversion. Movies worthy of cult classic status. We get Paris Hilton.

My conclusion: Mercury. There is too much mercury in the water we drink. This reduces intellectual capacity and explains how our coping strategy has been reduced to Paris Hilton.

Whadd'ya think of them apples?


Blogger cmhl said...

I am at a loss concerning Miss Paris. Specifically, what are the weird neck/head angles all about when she is being photographed? she looks like a contortionist..

9:33 AM  
Blogger posthipchick said...

her entire persona is about the fact that she's rich.
there is nothing else even remotely interesting about her.

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Karianna said...

LOL. Abolutely must be the mercury!

I watched the TV Show "I Want to be a Hilton" only because it was hilarious to watch people try to emulate what a rich person is supposed to be. But the irony (of course) is that most of what Kathy Hilton "taught" the contestants, Paris doesn't possess.

But she is beautiful. I would happily take her body. So, yeah, I'll look at photos of her and pretend I can have adorable clothes like that.

12:46 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

I think you hit the nail on the head, Meghan. Remember what F. Scott Fitzgerald said in "The Great Gatsby": The rich are different from you and I. (or something like that.) That's the fascination. Just like Cornelia Guest before her and Gloria Vanderbilt before her.

I feel a little sorry for Paris (at least, as sorry as someone can feel for a person who has a gazillion dollars and is engaged to marry a mucho gazillionaire). What is she going to do with her life? Hopefully, she will get married, get the acting thing out of her system and settle into philanthropy, like countless rich people with too little skills before her. One can only hope.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I can't really blame her for her behavior, she has no responsiblity and a huge amount of money. Plus no reason to think any of her actions will affect a future career. Who knows what we would do if we were in her position.

6:39 AM  

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