Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Friday, October 28, 2005


Is it me? Is it?

I have a question for those of you who have met me.

Am I an ass? Please tell me. Am I?

For some reason, several people today have treated me as though I was the world’s most colossal asshole. This is surprising to me, because I really am not an ass. At least not to my knowledge.

When I am treated as though I am a huge, giant asshole, and I know that I am not, in fact, a huge, giant asshole, I have to ponder where this attitude comes from. What is going on with the person who is making me feel this way?

Perhaps they woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Perhaps they have some deep rooted shame issues.

Perhaps they carry anger in their hearts.

Perhaps their golf game is declining and they are helpless to stop the fucking “yips”.

When someone projects ickiness on to me, I have to stop and think where that comes from. Because, although I have been known to tell a little white lie, I am far from smarmy. So when someone treats me as though I am smarmy, it just doesn’t jibe. An alarm bell rings when I get “smarmy” from someone.

So if I am in fact a smarmy asshole, please tell me. I want to know. Until I am advised otherwise, I will assume that certain people are projecting their own excess of smarminess onto me. Because, where else are they gonna put it?

In the mean time, I will try to remember patience and kindness. Today, that is no small order.

I will try nonetheless. I will try.


Anonymous Kari said...

No, you are not an ass. Very sweet in fact.

AND, yesterday I realized why I thought you looked so familiar when I met you at BlogHer.

Joan Lunden.

You resemble a much younger Joan Lunden, but ten times hotter.

There was a picture of her in the paper yesterday, and she was making an expression that I have seen on you, and that is how I made the connection.

Or maybe I am on crack. Who knows?

Maybe people treat you like an ass because you are so pretty. That must be it. :)

10:44 AM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

I haven't met you, but I certainly do hope to, someday soon.

I've been a bit snotty this week myself, and now I am wondering if someone else out there is wondering if they are an ass because I was a bit snotty to them.

So I will apologize on behalf of the people who were snotty to you. You are not an ass. Not in the least.

1:38 PM  
Blogger GraceD said...

Who's talking shit about you? I'm in the mood for a little tire slashing. Give me their address and the Michelins parked in their driveway are mine.

I met you at the great BlogHer love-in. We were all blinded by your wit, beauty, and your ass. I know that to be true because a bunch of us were in the girls/men's room talking about your great ass. But that wasn't the question, was it?

10:45 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

You are most definitely NOT an ass. In fact, you are VERY LIKABLE.

12:28 PM  

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