Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Monday, February 20, 2006


Hot water

Yesterday was just one of those days, man. Madge was following me around like a whining, smack-addled Alice-the-Goon in need of a fix. She followed me from room to room, screaming belligerently at me. She wanted up! She wanted down! Wait! NO! She didn’t want down at all! What kind of a Mommy am I anyways? Stupid, stupid mean Mommy!

She screamed and whined and cried all morning at the audacity I exhibited in the following ways:

I refused to let her play with scissors.

I refused to let her eat a stick of butter.

I denied her the joy of playing alone on our bed that sits 3 feet off the floor. In turn denying her the God given right to break her face plummeting into the floor or bedside table. My incessant meddling kept her from her very first head injury or broken face. I really have to stop holding her back like that.

I dressed her.

I offered her a sippy cup of water.

And the final straw: I handed her a piece of banana. BANANA!!!

Oh, but for the heart-wrenching insult! Horrors upon horrors!

The nerve I have, in all my sanctimonious mother-esque efforts to feed and clothe my child and prevent her from injuring herself! Can’t I see how I crush her spirit with all the limits I place on her? There was much flinging of sippy cups and bananas and binkys.

I unceremoniously informed Jim that I needed an hour away from anyone who was 50% Dutch or greater, and abruptly slammed a few doors and left the premises to wander the mall in blissful silence for an hour.

When I returned, the child was happy.

Maybe it’s me?

At any rate, her Aunts Molly and Betsy came over and kept her thoroughly entertained until bedtime.

Oh, and then I completely flipped my lid on Jim. In front of my sisters. About folding chairs. It went something like this:


Stomp stomp stomp. Sigh.

So much for treasuring my weekends with my daughter.
I am a bad. Bad. Working mother.

Oh, and the hot water heater broke. So I got to play Caroline Ingalls. But instead of having to walk through the blistering cold to the water pump to freeze my finger-flesh to the handle whilst pumping up icy water, requiring a douse of scalding water to tear my flesh from the iron handle it had become one with, I just had to heat water in a pot on our electric stove. So it’s not all bad.

But still I have to say, HOT WATER RULES.


Blogger Dawn said...

I am all for losing your shit. It's very cathartic.

And our power was out all weekend. It's cold here in New England with no power, or water.

I announced to Emily that the pioneers lives SUCKED!

10:46 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

I hope today is a little better and a little warmer for you.
But, can I tell you I really do enjoy reading that motherhood isn't always the shiny, glamourous endeavor some bloggers make it out to be?

11:38 AM  
Blogger Catizhere said...

Maybe it's the name.... My Maggie was the same whiny little monster this weekend too.

11:56 AM  
Blogger DDM said...

Oh I SO feel your pain here. There are days like that, all the time in this house. Saturday was one of those. My son is mostly non-verbal, so his response to me when he isn't happy is, "EEEEEE!". To hear this properly, think Orca-whale-mating-call meets dog whistle. I was contemplating ways to entertain without screamage, that didn't involve duct tape, rather unsuccessfully.

He blew my eardrums out repeatedly Saturday morning for the following offenses.....changing his diaper. Feeding him breakfast. Not allowing him to turn the scalding hot water on his arm. Not allowing him to play with knives in the sink. Actually shutting down the whole playing in the sink operation altogether out of irritation with having to mop up the floor, the walls, the window and my bill pile every 5.3 seconds.

I got a break by 3pm, when my mom came over and kidnapped him. She kept him overnight through until Monday and it was HEAVEN. Well, when I wasn't feeling guilty for so enjoying having my house to myself.

2:50 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

They can just be so ungrateful, can't they? And from such an early age...

The joys of home ownership. Next time, you go stay at a hotel and let the Dutch fend for themselves.

7:16 PM  
Blogger Debby said...

What kind of cruel, horrible mother are you anyway?!! Taking away your child's right to fall on the floor and crack her skull wide open!! LMAO

Better days will come hon, trust me!!!! I raised four of the little monsters and they aren't always like that, just mostly - LMAO

Later on, it will be tantrums over - makeup, piercings, tattoos, the phone, the car, curfews, etc, etc. etc.

You'll still love her though, no matter what, cuz that's what it's all about

7:18 PM  
Blogger Undercover Angel said...

I've done that before - boiled water in a kettle on the stove for my bath. It takes an awful lot of kettle's full!

Hopefully you have your hot water back by now.

7:53 PM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

If I were you, I'd be looking forward to work tomorrow!

My little guy is all about "voicing" his displeasure at--oh--the smallest infraction. He's just past crying and not quite talking so his preferred method of communication is screaching. It's truly not pleasant.

I'm hoping spring comes early to your neck of the woods. Heating potatoes in the fire to keep your feet warm at night in bed is only cool if you're reading about it in a book.

10:12 PM  
Anonymous Lynn said...

Love your blog. I too am from Minneapolis, Woodbury to be exact. I have a twin and we are also still in love with Little House on the Prairie. She lives up in St. Cloud and if we are both home, we'll watch it and see who can guess the episode the quickest. Usually we get it before the opening credits. Our favorite lines are...."PA PA Help me PA...I can't see, I can't see. Sad isn't it!! Our kids think we are crazy!!!

9:02 AM  
Anonymous pjindy said...

Yoga Meghan. Yoga.

6:33 AM  

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