Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Monday, February 13, 2006

 

Like taking candy from a baby. What IDIOT came up with that line anyway? Clearly they had no children.

My husband Jim can, at times, be a real task-master. Separating him from a goal can be as difficult as prying the jaws of a police dog from the leg of a drug dealer who has his hands around the neck of his master officer. The man is not easily deterred.

I am currently CURSING, LAMENTING, and DENUNCIATING a particular parenting magazine for publishing an article outlining the abominations of giving any child over the age of 15 months any liquid out of a bottle.

Since reading this article, my husband is on the sippy-cup warpath.

He appears to be convinced that every time we give Maggie milk from a bottle, we are killing billions of brain cells, stopping her dendrite connections dead in their paths, and rendering her the world’s most incompetent toddler. We are not only destroying her orthodonture, but also any chance she has of becoming a productive adult. Because of the bottle, she will never speak more than 15 words. We will send her off to college with her blankie, binkie, and bottle. She will utter phrases to her professors like “NYO-NYO!”, “AAH-DUN!” and “DEE-SAH!” (pizza) during her final oral exams. All because her spineless mommy delayed the transition from bottle to sippy cup. It’s a sheer and utter travesty. The child. She will be ruined.

Monday through Friday, I am the one who rouses Maggie in the morning. Or, rather, she rouses me. She is a morning person, and when I enter her room with a bottle of milk in hand, she greets me with a big “HI!”, and enormous smile, and then she grabs that bottle of milk with two hands and a bushel and a peck of zeal. Mornings are a happy time. I like them just as they are.

This morning, in an effort to placate my baby’s daddy, I walked into her room with a purple sippy cup in hand. She looked at me as though I had offered her putrid swamp water, teeming with bugs. “NO!” she said, swatting it away. “No no. NYO!!!”. I tried to stand my ground, and pushed the sippy cup back towards her. She hurled it across the room and set forth wailing and sobbing, completely bereft. I struggled to dress her as she convulsed and choked. Her face turned purple, and big fat tears rolled from her scrunched up eyes.

The moment I set her down on the floor, she bolted for the refrigerator, planted herself in front of it, red-faced and streaky, and whimpered despondently.

I caved. I poured the milk from the sippy cup into a bottle and handed to her. She took it, smiled through her tears, and walked back to her room. She set forth recovering from the devastating affront in short order. Still shuddering from the aftershocks of her sobbing meltdown, she quietly read books in her crib while I showered. She grasped her bottle protectively.

Am I creating a monster? Maybe

Working mother’s guilt is no phenomenon. It is real. I get 60 minutes with my daughter in the morning. I do not want to start out my day with soul-crushing rule enforcement not even of my own heart. If a bottle makes her happy, I say give her the damn bottle.

Lesson learned: Maggie now knows that if she pitches a royal fit, she will win.

Mommy now knows that if Daddy wants to wean Maggie from her bottle, it will have to happen on Saturday and Sunday, while mommy sleeps in, and daddy deals with the horrifying wrath of a 17-month-old scorned and bottle-less.

15 Comments:

Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Daddy's brave to pick that fight. This daddy? Never would have crossed his mind. Dem's fightin' words! :-)

10:58 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I just read the same magazine... We went through that when my Princess was 1-ish. I was the hardass who wouldn't give her the bottle though - and daddy was the one who always caved... and guess who she likes better now? Here's a hint - it ain't me.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

We have been much more lenient about weaning from the bottle with our 2nd daughter. She's 16 months and still takes 2-4 bottles a day. But I just found the Nuby sippy cups -- they have a silicon nipple which is bottle-like -- they are quite popular with Baby-A. You might give them a try if you haven't to ease the transition a little. Good luck!

12:14 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

Aw, it's hard. My oldest had a bottle until probably 2. My son never had a bottle. He went straight from the breast to a sippy cup. They like what they like - you might try introducing an open cup at meal times.

Tell that big husband of yours the battle is ALLLLL his.

4:44 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

A-freaking-men.

Tacy couldn't have given a rat's arse about the bottle. CJ, on the other hand, feels much the same way Maggie does.

Like you, I have no desire to make life any more unpleasant than necessary over such a minor issue. Talk about picking your battles. Or bottles. Something like that.

At school, they want the kids in the one year-old room to drink from sippies. Fine. Insist on it while she's there, but I bring her a bottle every day when I pick her up. Am I undermining them? Perhaps. But again, I intend for the time I spend with her to be pleasant.

Nancy, where did you get the Nuby's anyway? I looked at Target and didn't find them.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Chrissie said...

I went through the same fight with my daughter. I had her drinking her juice and water out of sippy cups, but her milk? Oh the horror. It must be in a bottle. Til one day it didn't.

Now she's 3 and I'm trying to get her off the sippy cups. Everything else is fine in a glass, but her morning milk MUST be in a sippy cup.

Just not worth the effort to fight it right now.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Lin said...

When we moved back to England, our son was a few months shy of three years. I figured it was time to pack in the naptime bottle because, sheesh, I didn't want to be meeting new people and having to explain the fact that he really liked his Playtex Nurser. I know, a Playtex Nurser. AND I breastfed this kid for a year, then weaned him to a...bottle. Yep, a bottle not a sippie cup.

I reckon each kid needs what s/he needs and you just give 'em whatever they need. I weaned my daughter at 8 months to a sippie cup. She hated bottles. Nothing to do with the parenting, and everything to do with the kid. Let your wee principessa keep the bottle until she decides she doesn't need it (or she starts college...whichever comes first).

11:28 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

No one seriously walks down the aisle with a binky or bottle in their mouth.

My child had a binky until age 4. I mean, we collectively weren't getting any sleep- why decrease the small amount of time we had?

Tell Jim that I, credentialled and certified Child Development expert say it is fine. She will give it up and move on very soon. One day, unexptectedly, she'll just be done.


And Emily - at 7- still takes a sippy to bed ( with Water, lest the tooth nazis come for me!)

6:46 AM  
Blogger student said...

I love parenting magazines. I find them quite useful to line the bottom of a bird cage with

One of my earliest recollections is my father heaving my brother's bottle out of his speeding Dodge Dart, circa 1973. That pretty much weened him. My older half-sister, on the other hand, was allowed by my mother to drink out of a bottle until the age of SEVEN.

They're both as normal as possible, though my sister's neurons often misfire, she's got the smile of a mountain goat and has trouble ordering pizza on friday nights.

8:46 AM  
Anonymous prego said...

oops.... 'student' is me.

9:49 AM  
Anonymous madge said...

I've resorted to "Choko Milk" to lure The Bird away from her beloved bottle ('cause I'm the genius who weaned her from boob to bottle...at 13 months!). This is half a teaspoon of Ovaltine Malt in a 6-8 oz sippy cup.

But that morning bottle? It ain't going ANYWHERE.

11:54 AM  
Blogger jenB said...

char JUST got off the bottle (25 months almost) and she seems to have survived the horribleness unscathed. i was surprised, but she stopped on her own. just all of a sudden refused the bottle. stupid magazines.

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter, 30 months old, just left her bottle, thanks to the nuby sippy cup,(the one with the soft plastic top, 1.78 at Target, and which she likes to call big girl-princess milk cup). We've tried before and only tears, screams and cups flied around my house. I decided to let it rest for a couple of months, and now that she can really understand reasons and negociate...it was easy and smooth. Snow White doesn't use a bottle, so why would you? When people used to make commentaries of her being too old I respectfully named other huge acheivments, such as succesfully potty training, school rewards, or so...After all, she has wonderful manners, excellent grades and likes to take care of her toys...Isn't that GRAND ??? :)

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Small wonder kids are so fat and stupid, with moms like you.

Kids not only need to get off the bottle, they need to learn that they can't ALWAYS have what they want.

And they need to learn to respect Mom - there'sno real love if you can push someone around.

Get real. Act like mom.

And $1 says you edit out any comment that dares to disagree with you.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, your kids may be fat and stupid, but not mine...pushing them around all the time, fighting, and stressing them just to follow the rules applied nowadays for toddlers is stupid. Listen to this...NOT ALL THE KIDS ARE THE SAME!!! They were not made out of a mold, and if they leave the bottle a couple of months later doesn´t make them not respect their parents. I'ts stupid from you to judge what's best for other mothers, you don't even know which situations other families are living, transitions, problems, etc. What we are all trying to do is support each other trying to raise our kids as best as possible, and if you can not help, just come here and judge, I'm sorry for you...having kids is about love, happiness, and yes, I agree, rules... but somethings and some rules are more important than others, and that depends on the parents of each kid!!! Go militarize your kids, that's not my style of education, and raising responsible well behaved kids, don't necesarily have to be that way...

11:38 AM  

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