Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Monday, February 27, 2006



Some days I feel like I don’t match with my life. I clash with my house, my neighborhood, my car, my job…. Nothing fits me right, and it feels like I am the square peg getting smashed into a round hole.

Sometimes I try to think of what my own Utopia might look like.

My utopia would include the following:


A rollercoaster.


A lot of sing-alongs and musicals.

Copious amounts of very bad, hysterical pee-your-pants laugh-inducing dancing.

An elaborate evening meal every day, with a bottomless carafe of really good red wine, and a dinnertime sunset every day.

There would be a swimming pool with water slides.

An endless supply of up-to-date US Magazines, and all my sisters and friends to dish with.

A never-ending supply of paintbrushes and paints and paper and canvasses.

Re-runs of Little house on the prairie playing continuously.

Closets full of dress-up clothes.

A library full of classics, and an ongoing book discussion.

Really good coffee.

An ongoing game of “my favorite thing about you”.

A masseuse.

This would all take place in a vineyard. With lights in all the vines that we would turn on every night.

And everyone would have their very own Betty Crocker Bake-oven.

And all of my favorite people would be there.

And there would be a huge garden with flowers and heirloom tomatoes.

And we would have our own Cheese cart, with an expert cheese guy and every kind of cheese imaginable. And chocolate croissants.

There would be a card table with an ongoing game of “hearts”.

And another table where people do nothing but make fun of people.

And happy children everywhere.

And a roving mariachi band at every meal.

And trivial pursuit every night.

And also a karoke contest.

And I could produce and star in my very own production of “Annie”. And I could be “annie” even though I am 5 foot 9 and 33 years old.

That about sums up my Utopia.

I just can't understand why I feel like a misfit in the land of suburban ramblers and Mc Mansions, overzealous sports obsessed parents, and home remodeling projects.....


Blogger Mr. Basil said...

What would you do if the cheese guy had a heart attak and died?

9:58 AM  
Blogger Prego said...

I opt for the table where I could make fun of some of the unsightly skinny dippers, ("Ewwww. RAY-zor!") the 'sing-alongers' and your post-pubescent depiction of Annie (whilst sipping a nice beaujolais and nibbling on Gruyere, of course.)

10:24 AM  
Blogger The Unrepentant Gallivanter said...

I'd just have to ixnay the karoke-ay and add the Dukes of Hazzard to the Little House viewings. Then I'd be in! : )

11:46 AM  
Blogger JB said...

I would add a a mile-long hallway with Dr. Suess paintings that told you a story as you walked past them, an old-fashioned soda counter that made chocolate malts, and a tarot reader whose happy predictions (Oh, you are so going to be rich and famous some day!) always came true.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

I'll move in.

Can I bring unlimited craft projects that I never feel pressured to finish?

Or I can finish them while making fun of other people.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

I think that if given the chance, I could get really good at karaoke. Really good.

I have a group of friends in my suburban oasis who I swear remodel their houses as a hobby. I hear a lot of talk like, "I'm ready to get my grown-up furniture," which I find kind of odd.

Does this magical place of yours have a day care center? If so, sign me up!

4:15 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

Of COURSE you feel out of place. And I love you for it :o) One comfort is that I am positive there are others out there who feel the same way - just gotta find 'em.

Can I please be invited to your paradise, it sounds incredible.

5:35 PM  
Anonymous madge said...

Yes. Directions, PLEASE!

I'll leave Annie to you and I'll tackle Sound of Music.

(BTW, if you are ever in NYC and don't know where to eat, get thee to Artisanal for the Wine & Cheese Flight meal. Yes, I said it, A WHOLE MEAL OF CHEESES AND WINES!)

3:42 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

Yes. That's me too. Give or take a few minor details.

You know what bothers me most? I'm afraid that I will succumb to the status quo.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous jess said...

i think i love you.

10:06 PM  
Anonymous roo said...

Please, invite me when you find it-- I'll wear a flirty sundress (which is what I'd wear every day in Utopia, I think), and bring some fresh mozzarella to eat with the heirloom tomatoes. Although perhaps your personal fromagier/sommelier might take care of that.Maybe I could just bring some herbs.

In Utopia, I am a mean guitar player-- you might consider the potential addition to your sing-alongs and such.

Not to mention my costuming expertise (ahem, red wig, ahem)...

Are there campfires in Utopia? They seem to go with the skinnydipping...

9:26 PM  
Blogger Shopping Diva said...

That. Is. Perfection!

Can I live there, too?

9:04 AM  
Blogger GraceD said...

Greetings, my name is Grace Davis and I am a misfit.

Which is why I live in Santa Cruz, Misfit Heaven.

And which is why I wish you lived here too.

Can you forgive my sorry ass for not commenting/responding/paying homage to the misfitty wonderfulness that is La Meghan?

Please try.

Thank you.

Grace Davis

7:36 AM  

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