Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

 

We had joy, we had fun....

I can't quite do justice to the ugly, the bad and the good (in that order) that took place this long, wild weekend in San Jose at the BlogHer Conference. So I won’t even try.

I flew home on Monday, after spending the night as a refugee with Kris in the gorgeous home of the gracious and wonderful Grace Davis and her handsome husband George. Who, by the way are two of the loveliest people in all of California.

On the flight home, I was seated next to a twenty-something young man. As I settled in with a magazine, I noticed him paging through some kind of Nickelodeon “Highlights” style kid’s publication. Feeling sorry for a grown man left to thumb through a children’s book, I grabbed my bag, pulled out a magazine, and offered him a spare. He looked at me. No. He stared at me. He stared ominously, with eyes as big as saucers. He held my gaze for an uncomfortable and seemingly endless amount of time. Finally he grunted a “No” and returned to his “Highlights”. Then, he flipped the stainless steel lid of the impotent relic formerly known as an airline ashtray backandforthandbackandforthandbackandforth. It was then that I noticed that I had offered him an “Us” Magazine with a huge mug-shot of Lance Bass grinning from ear to ear like a stuck pig, with an enormous caption that read “I’M GAY!!”.

The man spent the rest of the trip alternately flicking everything in sight and giving me long and creepy sideways stares.

It was right around the fourth time he asked the flight attendant "do you have any candy?" that I realized that he was mentally disabled. I was relieved that not only did he probably not want to kill me in a homophobic rage, but also, he might have just liked what he was already reading, thank you very much.

It was the perfect ending to a long, crazy weekend. A weekend that otherwise might have ended with merely a marathon debauchery session, and finally, Jenny and I being walked to our room at dawn by an enormous man named Sasquatch.

Thank you to all the lovely ladies I had the pleasure of meeting, greeting, and slobbering over.

Thank you to Lisa Stone, Jory Des Jardins, and Elisa Camahort for creating such an incredible and empowering event.

While I was gone, my daughter grew approximately three inches, and learned to speak in complete sentences. In Latin. She will be two the end of this month, and I am confident she will be far ahead of her peers, both in size and intelligence when she starts kindergarten in the fall.

I was never the kind of child that was prone to homesickness. I was always at the home of a friend or relative. It seems it took having a child to bring out the wussy in me. My home is wherever she is. Based on recent experience my quota of days away from her before having a full emotional break-down is four. Now I know.

20 Comments:

Anonymous TB said...

Did any of us actually get a picture of Sasquatch? I mean from the front (Roo)? I'm starting to wonder if he really existed.
I'm glad you made it home okay. I was thinking about you on Monday.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Kari said...

Mmmm. I'd be more embarrassed reading Highlights. But I am not a guy. And I am not gay.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Mindy said...

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And some of my best friends are mommies.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Pass The Torch said...

That was a really funny post. Especially the part about the two-year-old kindergartener;)

This sounds like a conference I must NOT miss next year!

12:31 PM  
Blogger Donna said...

Don't worry - as she gets older, your tolerance for separation will increase :) (It's good to be home, isn't it?)

1:30 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Don't let this girl fool any of you. She is a kick ass, GORGEOUS, hard core party fool. It was she who inspired the phrase:
"Dude, take a step back from Sasquatch"

And my word verification?
Tatfun

Conicidence? I think not.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Prego said...

I was kind of hoping the 'young man' you offered the magazine to was the gay Lance Bass. That'd be an outstanding coincidence and faux pas.

Welcome back,
p

PS Highlights is still the better read. I'm on the lookout for a Goofus and Gallant anthology. I'll give you a wild guess which one I resemble.

Hint: "$#@* you. Move your feet, steal your seat," is my favourite poem.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Meghan, I thought the same thing when I saw my girls - they aged at least a month in the 3.5 days I was gone. Especially CJ.

And I saved my breakdown for when I got home. Specifically, at the airport upon seeing my family. Good times.

7:31 PM  
Anonymous roo said...

Goofus is leery of large men at gas stations.
Gallant invites them home for cookies and tea.

10:09 PM  
Anonymous carmen said...

Oh, I didn't get to see Sasquatch. What a drag!

I'm glad you made it home ok. I made it home in time for drama, but oh well.

and I'm cracking up because my word verification is pulzd. Which kind of looks like puzzled, to my tired eyes.

5:15 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Roo, that's hilarious.

9:20 AM  
Anonymous jes said...

I sat next to a guy on the plane who kept saying things to me, like:
"Yep."
"Yep."
"Yep, yep."

THE ENTIRE FLIGHT HOME. I wanted desperately to know why he kept saying "Yep" but I didn't want to ask because I was afraid he would become very angry and insulted, and that he would beat me with his seatbelt.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Chase said...

It was great to meet you. Unfortunately, my meeting and chatting with you was on the first night, when I mostly heard you say over and over "Hi! I'm Megan! Sorry...what was your name?". A few times to me. Hahah!

But it was fabulous, regardless. :)

12:44 PM  
Blogger Keegan said...

I just found your blog and have been cracking up reading through some of your entries. I checked out your profile and saw that we have the same taste in books, except I'm a Grapes of Wrath-er over East of Eden and thought Naked was even better than Me Talk Pretty one Day. It figures that I dig your humor when you read such good books!

1:35 PM  
Blogger Lisa Stone said...

Hey. Thanks for coming all this way. Get M started on her Greek roots and I'll see you in a year.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

I was so glad I got to spend some time with you, Meghan! You are a warm and funny person.

Can't wait to spend more time with you in Chicago next year!

6:58 PM  
Blogger Old Lush said...

So glad I found your blog. Can't wait to start reading!

9:02 PM  
Blogger mrsmogul said...

Sasquatch is an actual name?? Married to a dutch man eh? THey are a cool people! I'm married to a brit.

11:17 AM  
Blogger GraceD said...

Dollin, much as I wanted George to take my name when we married six years ago, I was okay with him keeping his grand Italian last name of Marcellino. 'Davis' is my family name, the only part of me that reveals a bit of WASP heritage.

It was an honor and privilege to be in your company once again, dear Meghan. I am your slave 4 life.

xoxox

12:21 PM  
Blogger Krisco said...

It was so fun to meet you and spend time with you at...at...well, you know where. The greatest conference ever known to mankind, but I don't want to overdo it.
See you soon. You know, on the internet. : )

11:27 PM  

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