Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

 

Holy Schleich Batman!


Is there a 12 step program for small plastic animal addiction? Because I think it’s time to contact friends and family for a sit-down intervention with the tall Dutchman. During this interventionI know I deserve to be called out onto the carpet for my enabling of this addiction. My husband can’t stop. Plus he thinks my ability to google anthing known to man borders on genius. So the cycle of abuse contiues.

You know that company that made those little soft plastic Smurfs? Well they also make cool little hand-painted plastic animal figures. Schleich figurines. Some of these cost as much as $15.00 a piece. Which would be fine, if we purchased them one at a time. But we don’t. We order 30 at a time. I should have NEVER introduced him to online purchasing. Or e-bay for that matter. At this stage, it’s like trying to fix the titanic with duct tape and paperclips. I am just screwed.

We now own several horses, two stingrays, giraffes, whales, Sharks, an entire primate family, every farmyard animal imaginable, every forest creature known to man, amphibians, and several extinct prehistoric saber-toothed creatures.

And it doesn’t look like we are stopping any time soon.

We may squander so much money on little plastic animals that Madge will have no college fund, or home, or clothes. But the child will be a venerable walking encyclopedia of animal taxonomy. Maybe she can get a job at the zoo. Or maybe she can pawn off her priceless collection of plastic Schleich figurines at Sotheby’s.

I have always secretly mocked people who collect things. I think I harbor deep rooted resentment over my sister Julie’s horse and dog collections. She had dibs on all the cool things. In my near obsessive preoccupation with doing the opposite of what she did, I started the shittiest most half-assed shell collection known to man. I displayed about a dozen broken shells on a shelf in our bedroom for several years until my mother finally threw them out. At least I think she did, but I don’t really remember because I had long since stopped caring about my sub-par shell collection.

At least we haven’t sunken to the level of “precious moments” figurines. Yet.

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