Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

 

Life on the Cube-Farm

Today while attempting to look up the website of a client, I entered .com instead of the accurate .net, and up popped an entire screen of enormous neon-colored dildos.

Fortunately it was a rare moment when no one was hovering in the door of my cubicle peering over my shoulder (why do I always feel like cubicle is a bad word???? Because it has the same ending as matching orbitous male anatomical components? ), so no one was there to witness my choice of internet-surfing and assume I was doing some early Christmas shopping for myself.

Did you know that Bob Propst, inventor of the cubicle, originally called them “Action Offices”? The original concept was a good one (as were his intentions) that was eventually blasphemized by office real-estate economics, and turned into the dilbert habitats we know today. They were later coined “cubicles” (not testicles) and even later, they were referred to as “bright satanic offices”.

Personally, I like to call them “I AM MAKING AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE CROTCH DOCTOR! DID MY ALL- MALE COWORKERS HEAR THAT? CROTCH-DOCTOR!!! NEXT I’LL CALL MY THERAPIST, AND THEN I WAS THINKING ABOUT FIGHTING WITH MY HUSBAND ABOUT WHEN TO PAY THE CABLE BILL!!!! Workspaces”.

Based on a decade of cube-dwelling, that seems to be the most apt description.

4 Comments:

Blogger Prego said...

I referred to them as veal fattening pens, for their adverse effect on mine and my co-workers' physiques.

Nothing used to chafe me more than listening to the frumpasaurs begin to discuss lunch at 9.15

5:38 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

How about pubicle? You've got the public aspect, the -icle aspect, and the sense that you're being naughty.

What I hated most? When someone would hit the speaker button on their phone, then allow the dial tone to slowly bore a hole into my forehead while they figured out which number they intended to dial.

Hint: Look up the number first, dickweed. And don't use speakerphone in a freaking pubicle.

6:40 PM  
Blogger DDM said...

*Snort!* Funny stuff there....and then I read mothergoosemouse's comment. Now I need some freaking Depends.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I get to hear all sorts of conversations in my very well-traveled section of the cubicle farm. Fights between spouses, detailed medical issues, catty remarks about coworkers.

It really helps to have headphones. ;-)

5:31 PM  

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