Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

 

M I KOOL R WHAT?

I now have a Myspace page. Perhaps next, I will start hanging out at the mall with an ipod in one hand and a red bull in the other, and shopping at Abercrombie for pants that don’t cover up my arse. While texting people with things like HowRU? We R dun. Just so U know UR Dumped. KWIM?

These things, by design, feed on people’s insecurities. I mean, I started the page ages ago, (for some reason I was forced to sign up several months back – I think I was trying to get to Patty Griffin’s site), and I checked on it yesterday, and I only had ONE FRIEND. His name is Tom, and he works for the IT department at MySpace, so I felt his offer of friendship was a bit disingenuous and fake. Whatevs.

This all flung me emotionally directly back to Junior High, when my self esteem was particularly fragile, and I probably did only have one friend (okay, maybe two and we were relegated to the second to the bottom dork table in the lunch room– and I feel the need to point out that it was not the very bottom dork table, but the SECOND to the bottom dork table thankyouverymuch). I think it was the first year of my life people figured out I was not, in fact a boy, but a very homely, very tall girl. With big feet.

And suddenly I was all jangled and desperate for some kind of proof of social acceptance. Who could I get to be my MYSPACE friend so I didn’t look like a loser? Oh my God, I can’t look like a dork……

It gave me honest to goodness ANXIETY.

Then I remembered I am 34 years old. And a wife (of a very tall and handsome and funny man TAKE THAT NANCY PARSONS!) and mother with a full time job, and a lot of friends. Real ones.

But still, I totally didn’t want all these Myspace people to think I had no FRIENDS.

I emailed my cousins Tiffany and Colleen, and begged them to be my Myspace friends. I considered e mailing all my friends to ask them to sign up for Myspace so they would prove their loyalty to me to all the kids out there on Myspace. And then I considered that they would probably nod and smile and think to themselves “How old does she think she is? 14? Note to self: Stop hanging out with Meghan”.

So I limited "Operation Friend Campaign" to the people who have Myspace Pages.

Fortunately, Tiffany and Colleen accepted my invitation to be my Myspace friends (THANK U! UR KOOL! KWIM?).

And, by the way, so did PATTY FREAKING GRIFFIN! And BOB SCHNEIDER! WHO I SAW PLAY LIVE AT THE FINE LINE ON SATURDAY NIGHT!

So now, I have a small, and extremely exclusive group of Myspace friends. And I know I look cooler than cool, and am definitely NOT relegated to the second to the lowest dork table.

Then I consider the parallels to Blogging……..

These Social Networking sites are great aren’t they? Nothing like exploiting people’s deep rooted social insecurities for fame and fortune. We are pathetically easy targets. Like shooting fish in a barrel really.

And yet, I am proud of my Myspace Friends! THANK U! UR AWESOME! BFF! TTFN!!

10 Comments:

Blogger Denise said...

I would love to be your MySpace friend, Meghan. I am, however, an adult version of the absolute bottom dork table dweller, and have not even attempted MySpace yet. You are too cool for me!

8:28 AM  
Blogger Karen Rani said...

I added you yesterday. I only have a MySpace to keep an eye on my teenaged cousins, who keep MySpacing (?) details that could lead to trouble. Crazy teens...

9:13 AM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I don't have a profile. And I think I've only sent text messages to Kyle. Who doesn't even know how to reply to them.

Maybe sometime you could invite me to sit at your lunch table? Pretty please?

10:14 AM  
Blogger Rude Cactus said...

I have a myspace page that I remember about, oh, once ever four or five months ;-)

11:01 AM  
Blogger Lin said...

A/S/L Age/sex/location???
NMJC
Nothing much, just chillin'
NO1
No one
NOYB
None of your business
NRN
No Reply Necessary
NTK
Nice To Know
OJ or OK
Only Joking or Only Kidding
PITA
Pain In The Ass
and ahem, there's always the perennial favorite...
PTL
Praise The Lord (uh huh)

Lots to learn, Miz Meg! I suggest perhaps having a lesson with the demigoddesses!

11:18 AM  
Blogger Katie said...

I just started using my MySpace profile, and it instantly transported me back to high school. I've been having tons of high school memories for a week now. I'll be your friend!

11:52 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

This is hilarious. I learned most of the abbreviations playing games on Yahoo against high school kids, since there, it's anonymous and they don't know how old I actually am. Let's just say that I'm old enough that when I searched for anyone--ANYONE--from my high school friends on my space I got a big fat zero. But I bet their kids are on there.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Cate said...

This is the funniest post! I think I sat at your lunch table. The difference is that your Nancy Parsons is my Diana Asskisser.

6:29 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Just be careful... I wouldn't want to see you on Dateline someday ;o)

And I'm so jealous that you got to see Patty. Was she incredibly awesome?

5:35 AM  
Blogger The New MBA said...

I poked around MySpace once. It felt like the time my company, wanting to capture some of the younger Seattle market, sponsored the local “pimp my ride” event – a couple of middle aged white women hanging around a bunch of teenage, Asian boys. Everyone was a little uncomfortable.

On the day that I read this post, I saw, on my way to work, a bumper sticker that said, “MySpace ruined my life”. I wanted to pull up along side the car and holler, “what exactly do you mean by that?”

Anyway, don’t let MySpace touch your self esteem. After all, you get all sorts of comments on your blog posts. Doesn’t comments = popular?

I love your blog.

9:56 AM  

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