Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Friday, December 29, 2006

 

I just want you to hear my triangle. Is that too much to ask?

The Triangle. Yes, it’s a shape, but more importantly it’s an instrument. Held high in the air and swatted with a little metal rod, the diminutive “Ding!” still manages to be heard in the midst of an entire orchestra of instruments.

Last night I had a dream that I was giving a presentation to a group of handsome men. I was witty and charming, and one man in particular laughed at everything I said. He hung on to my every word. It was clear he thought I was the cat’s meow.

And a co-worker leaned over to me and said

“That guy can REALLY hear your triangle.”

It made perfect sense to me at the time. In fact, the phrase was pregnant with meaning. I awoke feeling I has just had a meaningful conversation with Buddha on the mountaintop.

It’s a good thing I don’t do drugs. My mind seems pretty well altered sober.

Friday, December 22, 2006

 

Happy Holidays Times Four. Times Four.

Have I really not posted for 2 weeks? Forgive me. It’s DARK. And darkness does not do much to motivate creativity, or motivation itself for that matter. Plus I just don’t feel FUNNY these days. I don’t feel BAD per se, but I also don’t feel that I have anything particularly witty to write.

Instead, I will post the invitation I created for out cousin’s party tomorrow night.

The reason: 4 girls in my family, 4 girls in my cousins family.
I think the universe is telling us something.

The theme: Little House on the Prairie Meets Sex and the City.

It’s the episode where Laura discovers the joys of being “try-sexual” with a man who has a trapeze in his bedroom, and Mary’s husband Adam, tries Viagra. Many hijinx and much hilarity ensue. Then Carrie worries she will never meet her Prince Charming, and Grace has a child out of wedlock.

Happy Holidays to you. And best wishes for a healthy and happy 2007.



FourFourFour
And Four


COINCIDENCE?

You be the Judge.

But my Pa always says good things come in fours!!!

Announcing the Annual Cousins Christmas Party!!

Little House on the Prairie Meets Sex and the City.

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006.
6:30 p.m. to ???????????????

Featuring:

Bonnets, Cosmopolitans, Blackbird Pie, Johnnycakes, and very few men!

Slap on your Bonnets and Minolo Blahnik’s and prepare and share your favorite dish from 19th Century Prairie country or 21st Century Manhattan.

There may be locusts, blizzards, mad dogs, cheating hearts, talk of causal sex, and copious cosmopolitan Consumption. Consider yourself Warned.

Also: reruns for everyone!!!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

 

M I KOOL R WHAT?

I now have a Myspace page. Perhaps next, I will start hanging out at the mall with an ipod in one hand and a red bull in the other, and shopping at Abercrombie for pants that don’t cover up my arse. While texting people with things like HowRU? We R dun. Just so U know UR Dumped. KWIM?

These things, by design, feed on people’s insecurities. I mean, I started the page ages ago, (for some reason I was forced to sign up several months back – I think I was trying to get to Patty Griffin’s site), and I checked on it yesterday, and I only had ONE FRIEND. His name is Tom, and he works for the IT department at MySpace, so I felt his offer of friendship was a bit disingenuous and fake. Whatevs.

This all flung me emotionally directly back to Junior High, when my self esteem was particularly fragile, and I probably did only have one friend (okay, maybe two and we were relegated to the second to the bottom dork table in the lunch room– and I feel the need to point out that it was not the very bottom dork table, but the SECOND to the bottom dork table thankyouverymuch). I think it was the first year of my life people figured out I was not, in fact a boy, but a very homely, very tall girl. With big feet.

And suddenly I was all jangled and desperate for some kind of proof of social acceptance. Who could I get to be my MYSPACE friend so I didn’t look like a loser? Oh my God, I can’t look like a dork……

It gave me honest to goodness ANXIETY.

Then I remembered I am 34 years old. And a wife (of a very tall and handsome and funny man TAKE THAT NANCY PARSONS!) and mother with a full time job, and a lot of friends. Real ones.

But still, I totally didn’t want all these Myspace people to think I had no FRIENDS.

I emailed my cousins Tiffany and Colleen, and begged them to be my Myspace friends. I considered e mailing all my friends to ask them to sign up for Myspace so they would prove their loyalty to me to all the kids out there on Myspace. And then I considered that they would probably nod and smile and think to themselves “How old does she think she is? 14? Note to self: Stop hanging out with Meghan”.

So I limited "Operation Friend Campaign" to the people who have Myspace Pages.

Fortunately, Tiffany and Colleen accepted my invitation to be my Myspace friends (THANK U! UR KOOL! KWIM?).

And, by the way, so did PATTY FREAKING GRIFFIN! And BOB SCHNEIDER! WHO I SAW PLAY LIVE AT THE FINE LINE ON SATURDAY NIGHT!

So now, I have a small, and extremely exclusive group of Myspace friends. And I know I look cooler than cool, and am definitely NOT relegated to the second to the lowest dork table.

Then I consider the parallels to Blogging……..

These Social Networking sites are great aren’t they? Nothing like exploiting people’s deep rooted social insecurities for fame and fortune. We are pathetically easy targets. Like shooting fish in a barrel really.

And yet, I am proud of my Myspace Friends! THANK U! UR AWESOME! BFF! TTFN!!