I now have a Myspace page. Perhaps next, I will start hanging out at the mall with an ipod in one hand and a red bull in the other, and shopping at Abercrombie for pants that don’t cover up my arse. While texting people with things like HowRU? We R dun. Just so U know UR Dumped. KWIM?
These things, by design, feed on people’s insecurities. I mean, I started the page ages ago, (for some reason I was forced to sign up several months back – I think I was trying to get to Patty Griffin’s site), and I checked on it yesterday, and I only had ONE FRIEND. His name is Tom, and he works for the IT department at MySpace, so I felt his offer of friendship was a bit disingenuous and fake. Whatevs.
This all flung me emotionally directly back to Junior High, when my self esteem was particularly fragile, and I probably did only have one friend (okay, maybe two and we were relegated to the second to the bottom dork table in the lunch room– and I feel the need to point out that it was not the very bottom dork table, but the SECOND to the bottom dork table thankyouverymuch). I think it was the first year of my life people figured out I was not, in fact a boy, but a very homely, very tall girl. With big feet.
And suddenly I was all jangled and desperate for some kind of proof of social acceptance. Who could I get to be my MYSPACE friend so I didn’t look like a loser? Oh my God, I can’t look like a dork……
It gave me honest to goodness ANXIETY.
Then I remembered I am 34 years old. And a wife (of a very tall and handsome and funny man TAKE THAT NANCY PARSONS!) and mother with a full time job, and a lot of friends. Real ones.
But still, I totally didn’t want all these Myspace people to think I had no FRIENDS.
I emailed my cousins Tiffany and Colleen, and begged them to be my Myspace friends. I considered e mailing all my friends to ask them to sign up for Myspace so they would prove their loyalty to me to all the kids out there on Myspace. And then I considered that they would probably nod and smile and think to themselves “How old does she think she is? 14? Note to self: Stop hanging out with Meghan”.
So I limited "Operation Friend Campaign" to the people who have Myspace Pages.
Fortunately, Tiffany and Colleen accepted my invitation to be my Myspace friends (THANK U! UR KOOL! KWIM?).
And, by the way, so did PATTY FREAKING GRIFFIN! And BOB SCHNEIDER! WHO I SAW PLAY LIVE AT THE FINE LINE ON SATURDAY NIGHT!
So now, I have a small, and extremely exclusive group of Myspace friends. And I know I look cooler than cool, and am definitely NOT relegated to the second to the lowest dork table.
Then I consider the parallels to Blogging……..
These Social Networking sites are great aren’t they? Nothing like exploiting people’s deep rooted social insecurities for fame and fortune. We are pathetically easy targets. Like shooting fish in a barrel really.
And yet, I am proud of my Myspace Friends! THANK U! UR AWESOME! BFF! TTFN!!