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Friday, November 02, 2007


Thoughts on Home Depot

If I have to set foot in Home Depot one more time I think I shall stab myself in the eye with a carpenter's pencil.

I have accompanied my husband on approximately 435 trips to the black hole of our money in the last 12 months. Most of these invitations have been covert. As in: "Honey, do you want to grab a bite to eat?"And then we end of at Home Depot.
"Are you in the mood for a coffee?" (Once I am in the car, miles from home): "I just need to make a quick stop."

45 minutes later while husband peruses 45 different kinds of caulk, I find myself giving my 3 year old her 2nd timeout in the bath fixture aisle while silently cursing the entire big box concept. I also curse the hamster wheel of modern home improvement.

Keeping up with the Joneses stuff, like granite coutertops and stainless steel appliances that are trademarks of the new alterna-yuppie affluents. SO ALTERNATIVE. Not. We are all suckers. Suckers who drop a hundred bucks at Home depot every weekend. Those who are truly alternative drive by home depot with their middle fingers raised, and go home to their outdated kitchens and bathrooms without emptying their bank accounts and racking up credit card debt.

Note to self: implement moratorium on all home improvement projects until further notice. "Project never ending blackhole of a basement bathroom" has been in full patchy swing for over THREE YEARS NOW, and we still don't have a blasted everloving toilet on the lower level.


Anonymous midlife mommy said...

You can always go to the door and window section. That way, you can lock your daughter in one of the door displays. She'll think she's in a little house, and you will get a few minutes of peace.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Daisy said...

This strategy would work better in spring and summer, but I like the garden center. They get new things in regularly, and they're reasonably priced.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Jenna said...

Is my Husband living a secret life with you as well? Interesting!

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Merlinfairy said...

Home depot should give you a MAJOR discount for your loyalty..

7:00 PM  
Anonymous formerly ddm said...

I sit here reading your blog as my contractor is knocking out my pantry, in preparation for new floors, countertops, cabinets and an island. *snort* HA!! So funny. Only difference is, we're having the contractor do it because husband and I are SO not capable of home improvement ourselves. And yes, Home Depot is the black hole of money for us too. I demand my husband hand over the credit card before he goes.

And while I'm whining, do you know how expensive a decent kitchen faucet is?! I was SHOCKED!!!

10:49 AM  
Anonymous formerly ddm said...

Oh, and, my son loves to get squished between the area rug display things. It's good for at least 15 minutes of giggles.

10:50 AM  

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