Yeah, that's right. I drive a minivan. You got a problem with that?
Like I said. I drive a minivan. What's that? Are you laughing? You think that's funny? Cause I got something funny for you too. Your mama. Now that's funny. My minivan is the smoothest ride in town beeyaattcchh. And the license plate says "M-L-F", and no I didn't plan it that way. Shoot. I didn't even know what MLF meant until somebody told me. I thought it meant "My little fucking-sweet-ass-minivan". Thats what I thought. MLF. That's just the way the license plate came in the mail. Straight up. Straight from the DMV. MLF from the DMV. Cuz That was in the plan, man. That's what I drive fool. A badass m-l-f mini-motherfucking van. Jealous? That's okay. Don't cry now. I'd be jealous too. Maybe someday I'll give you a ride in it.
My minivan has heated seats. Yeah, you heard me right. Heated seats. They keep my butt so nice and warm in the winter it feels like I wet my pants when I didn't. My minivan can carry so many things. I can go shopping anytime I like and no I don't have to go cry to my neighbor to borrow their truck. I just say "That's okay, you can put it in my minivan". Because you better believe I got a phat phat minivan. And you can put ALL the stuff I just bought in it. There's room baby, believe me. There's room. I am telling you the truth. My baby's daddy took out the back bench seat himself. It is a sweet-ass ride, yes it is. There's room for you and your mama in it. And I heard your mama is U.G.L.Y. But she can still ride in my minivan.
My baby girl likes to ride in the minivan. She likes to ride in the minivan because she can see out the window, and she looks at all the people going by, and I can see in her eyes she is thinking "Yeah! my mommy drives a minivan! Hey you! Over there! Don't you mess with me!"
So when you see me and my baby girl riding in our silver badassmotherfuckingm-l-f-minivan you better watch yourself. And yeah, my baby wears a helmet too. And yes, why, that IS a hello kitty sticker on the front of it because that is my baby girl and my baby girl likes hellomotherfucking kitty. Shoot.