Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, July 21, 2005

 

Yeah, that's right. I drive a minivan. You got a problem with that?












Like I said. I drive a minivan. What's that? Are you laughing? You think that's funny? Cause I got something funny for you too. Your mama. Now that's funny. My minivan is the smoothest ride in town beeyaattcchh. And the license plate says "M-L-F", and no I didn't plan it that way. Shoot. I didn't even know what MLF meant until somebody told me. I thought it meant "My little fucking-sweet-ass-minivan". Thats what I thought. MLF. That's just the way the license plate came in the mail. Straight up. Straight from the DMV. MLF from the DMV. Cuz That was in the plan, man. That's what I drive fool. A badass m-l-f mini-motherfucking van. Jealous? That's okay. Don't cry now. I'd be jealous too. Maybe someday I'll give you a ride in it.

My minivan has heated seats. Yeah, you heard me right. Heated seats. They keep my butt so nice and warm in the winter it feels like I wet my pants when I didn't. My minivan can carry so many things. I can go shopping anytime I like and no I don't have to go cry to my neighbor to borrow their truck. I just say "That's okay, you can put it in my minivan". Because you better believe I got a phat phat minivan. And you can put ALL the stuff I just bought in it. There's room baby, believe me. There's room. I am telling you the truth. My baby's daddy took out the back bench seat himself. It is a sweet-ass ride, yes it is. There's room for you and your mama in it. And I heard your mama is U.G.L.Y. But she can still ride in my minivan.

My baby girl likes to ride in the minivan. She likes to ride in the minivan because she can see out the window, and she looks at all the people going by, and I can see in her eyes she is thinking "Yeah! my mommy drives a minivan! Hey you! Over there! Don't you mess with me!"

So when you see me and my baby girl riding in our silver badassmotherfuckingm-l-f-minivan you better watch yourself. And yeah, my baby wears a helmet too. And yes, why, that IS a hello kitty sticker on the front of it because that is my baby girl and my baby girl likes hellomotherfucking kitty. Shoot.

12 Comments:

Blogger Donna said...

WAH. I already had Minivan Envy. Didja have to rub it in?

5:34 PM  
Anonymous Jenn said...

So what exactly is it that you drive??

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Shut UP! I have a silver Odyssey. Aw, yeah.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Lin said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA, so funny!

Never, ever until tonight was I jealous of a mini-van.

9:42 PM  
Blogger 01 said...

That minivan is a sweet ride, yo. I'm gonna have ta get me one of those badassmotherfucking-minivans too. Word.

Respeck!

10:52 PM  
Blogger Koan said...

What 01 said! :-)

Waaaay cool post, no messin'.

5:56 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

it aint never gonna be as cool as the MintyVan! word....

2:41 PM  
Blogger posthipchick said...

oh, my next car is SO a minivan.

7:31 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Say it loud, I drive a station wagon and I'm proud.

Think of all the things we've inflicted on ourselves in our frantic desire not to buy a practical family car -- that is, a plague of SUVs, which are expensive, not as safe, and rip people off every time they go to the pump.

Hey, this is my station in life, and this is my wagon to haul it around in. If others want to feel superior, that's their problem.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Man Van said...

Mini vans are great, they are good in practice and usage. It's great you have it, and you can drive it with praud.

5:41 AM  
Anonymous man with a van said...

I also think that for everyday life minivan is more practical then a big van. Minivan in my opinion is like a golden middle between big van and ordinary car.

4:53 AM  
Anonymous Van Sales said...

Minivan with heated seats!? That's great, especially if you live in cold climate. I like your minivan.

4:45 AM  

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