Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, June 02, 2005


Happy Birthday Mom

June 2 is my mother's birthday.

Trying to write about your mother in a blog is hard. It's like trying to write a poem about nailing jello to a tree whilst trying to nail Jello to a tree. The Jello Jiggles and pulsates and changes shape. It REACTS constantly. It's a wiggly medium, Jello. Tricky. Hard to pin down.

Here is how I shall break it down:

Top Ten list of good things about my mother:

1.She is always nice to me when the world is beating the crap out of me.
2.She called me in tears from a conference in New York when she found out Paul Wellstone died.
3.She had a difficult and tenuous relationship with her mother. It makes me think she has earned her stripes. She has unresolved issues, I have unresolved issues and someday soon my daughter will have unresolved issues! Ah, tradition.
4. She went back to school 20 years ago and got her masters degree.
5. She wants to make Christmas cookies every year.
6. She has a bumper sticker on her car that reads "people of faith for John Kerry"
7. She grows a mean garden. By mean I mean pretty. Not scary.
8. Although she has not worn it in years, the smell of Jean N'ate still makes me feel safe.
9. She actually took me home from the hospital after meeting me. I was quite possibly the worlds ugliest baby. By ugly I mean that I looked like an 8 pound version of Telly Savalas but with less facial hair and a blank gaping expression. If anyone can prove that they were uglier I will cook them a 4 course meal at my own dining room table. That is how ugly I was. I learned early to set the expectation low. She still took me home and that is proof that deep down she is an optimist.
10. I am certain that underneath that polite veneer she also thinks that one creepy conservative christian relative is a perma-smiling mean-spirited wack job closet neo nazi too. I am sure she also wants to tell her to suck it! SUCK IT!

Happy Birthday Mom.


Blogger Sweet Sassy Molassey said...

Who is your conservative christian relative?

Did your mom like her birthday present?

By the way, I'm keeping up with your blog. I just accidentally posted a draft-in-revision. I hope my editor-to-be who is surely following my blog doesn't notice.

Keep a'rockin Sister...

5:11 PM  
Blogger Katie Burke said...

I love your blog! You are very Dooce-like! (If you do not know Dooce, you have to check her out at www.dooce.com.) Your stories are great!

5:40 PM  

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