Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, July 28, 2005



What the fuck do I wear to Blogher????

You know, they say women don't really dress for men. Except for a few scantily clad WHOOO-ERES, this is a true statement as far as I'm concerned. Women dress to impress other women. Men do not consistently seem to appreciate the details of handbags, shoes, and jewelry. This begs the question, WHAT THE HELL DOES ONE WEAR WHEN HOBNOBBING WITH HUNDREDS OF WITTY SAVVY WOMEN FROM ALL OVER THE FREAKING GLOBE?

This is a high pressure situation indeed. My lack of budget has prevented me from going out and buying something ridiculous and silly. This is a good thing. Now I won't show up looking and feeling like someone I am not in an ill-fitting ensemble that screams "TRYING TOO HARD!". On the other hand, I have considered adopting a persona for the weekend just for kicks. Maybe I could go as Joe from the "Fact's of Life", and twist up a pack of smokes in my t-shirt and pretend to have an East coast accent. Or perhaps, like Laura Ingalls, I could wear a bonnet, shove apples up the front of my dress and proclaim "I AM A WOMAN NOW! A WOMAN! COME TAKE ME JOHNNY APPLESEED! I AM ONE HORNY PIONEER PRINCESS! COME HITHER YOU STRAPPING STUD!" except that I am married, and there will be very few men there. Not that they aren't welcome, of course.

What I have to work with: I do have my existing wardrobe to pick through. Which means that my selection is slim (irony) for things that one wears on ones lower half, because my caboose has just NOT been the same since that whole bothersome childbirth thing. The kid: GREAT! Childbirth and the phisiological aftermath: NOT SO GREAT.

I have a closet full of things that are a size too small, and then there's the stuff that is a size too big. Then there are the shoes.... the thought makes my blood run cold. EEEK. Double EEEK. These are the times when I wish I had a wardrobe consultant. I suppose that's me. There will be much clothes flinging after I get the kid down. Wish me luck!


Blogger ElisaC said...

2 words: pack black.

I don't know if it's my years in New York, but when all else fails, black is the answer.

That's all the time I have today to dispense pearls of wisdom...back to BlogHer stuff :)

2:35 PM  
Blogger Melinda Casino said...

:D Very funny post. I'm having the same problem, although I sort of don't care at this point. I'm thinking casual is waaaay better than overdressed. ;)

Hope you have fun.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous ae said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog. Your finding me allowed me to find you! And I'm only going to whisper this to you, cos I know you'll keep it on the down-low: I have no frickin' idea what to wear either, dammit!

Dang. I'm thinking my ensemble (pls. pronounce this in the French accent in which I typed it, ha) will be full-on Garanimals for adults, like everything else I own. I could pick out any two articles of clothing from my suitcase right now, and, chile, you know they would match! And as I am motivated first and foremost by comfort and I'm sensing a lot of sitting down in conference chairs, it looks like it's going to be something not too constricting for moi. And layers. Bringing a jacket is necessary in these increasingly hyper-air conditioned times.

Sadly, I cannot take Elisa C.'s advice; I did not pack anything black -- not counting my laptop, of course. Dur!

10:41 PM  
Blogger Lin said...

Few words: black on your bum and dark colors up top...to make you feel slimmer and to cover up spills.

Another few words: You're going to California; keep it very casual. Don't forget your flip-flops.

7:45 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

Hey, ya looked great!

I'm so glad I got to meetcha!

7:49 PM  
Blogger The Real Kato said...

You were amazing, and your clothes were fabulous.

p.s. Got a question for you... email me, please!

1:33 AM  
Anonymous Charlene Li said...

You looked absolutely fab with the skirt! Black, but also very casual and cool (esp. since it was pretty hot out). I had the exact same problem with BlogHer and Sat morning, just as I finally figured what to wear, I realized it needed to be ironed. I asked my husband to help press it, and he just had that look on this face. So I threw on trusty black. You just can't go wrong!

9:13 PM  
Blogger jenB said...

you looked beautiful :-) it was great to meet you.


3:24 AM  
Blogger bayou_boy504 said...

What are the "details of handbags, shoes, and jewelry"?

I just don't know.

7:04 AM  
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12:16 AM  

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