A letter to women who hover and run
I presume that the true reason you hover and spray your urine all over God’s Green earth is that you are afraid you will get some kind of butt disease if the skin on your arse touches the toilet seat. I can see your point of view. And I’m cool with it. Even though I have read a plethora of evidence to the contrary. I have zero problem with you hovering your heine a good few inches above the toilet seat and pissing all over tarnation, or at least all over everything within a 12 inch radius. If nothing else, it’s a good thigh workout right?
Here is what I have a problem with: You have such a delicate constitution that you can’t bear the thought of your clean pure flesh coming in contact with a public toilet seat. I get it. YET YOU LEAVE YOUR PISS ALL OVER SAID SEAT FOR THE NEXT, PERHAPS LESS NEUROTIC PATRON TO SIT IN.
In other words, clean up your pee, you self absorbed twit. There is special place in Hell for you. Think Dante’s Inferno with an entire level of Greyhound bus station feces-covered restroom, and your face duct-taped to the toilet seat.
Public toilet seat sitter-onner-who inadvertently sat in your pee because you are a selfish, disgusting person.