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Thursday, June 29, 2006

 

The fourth of July week in numbers

I am taking off in my minivan with my sister Betsy, and my 22 month old daughter for a journey through Wisconsin to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

You think that’s crazy? OH I haven’t even STARTED with the crazy.

Behold the crazy:

Number of estimated hours in car with 22 month old: 5.5 hours each way

The year the cabin was built by my great grandfather: 1914

Amenities offered at the cabin: plumbing: 0, electricity: 0, phone:0. The cabin does offer 1 roof, 1 3-seater outhouse (also built in 1913, and yes, this is still the one we use), a wood burning stove, approximately 12 kerosene lanterns, and 1 propane powered refrigerator that works 42% of the time.

Things on which Miss Madge may maim herself: 11

These include, but are not limited to the following:
A wood-burning stove
A lake
An exposed fireplace
Kerosene lanterns
Mosquitoes large enough to carry her off
Wolves
Bears
Leeches
Long wooden stairway (christened by my cousin Kerry who tumbled down them bum-over-head as a tot)
Bats
A two-lane highway within wandering-off distance (just ask my sister Betsy, who was once toddled off when my [ahem] father was supposed to be watching her. She was returned by a nice man on a motorcycle shortly thereafter).

Number of bedrooms: 1 large dorm like area on the second floor.

Number of relatives sharing the two room cabin: 15

Number of said relatives who snore: 10 (myself included)

Number of dogs: 2 (we are leaving good dog and bad dog home)

Number of potential outfits required for a week in a place where the weather can range from 39 degrees to 104 degrees: 273

Number of hours of sleep I am likely to average per night: 1.2

Percentage of my being willing the weather Gods to smile upon us: 100

Entertainment options on a rainy day at the cabin: 1.
This options goes as follows: Crowd 15 people in the cabin to stare at one another. Follow Maggie from hazard to hazard in an effort to prevent her from burning her hands down to stumps and / or burning the cabin down with all 15 inhabitants trapped inside, while tripping over the feet of said 15 inhabitants.

Number of birthdays taking place up at the cabin: 1 (mine. July 1. Same as Princess Diana)

Number of years that makes me: 34

Ratio of women to men at the cabin (our people kill off Y sperm): 87% women, 13% men.

Number of times the screen door will slam shut LOUDLY: 4,392

Average temperature of the water in Lake Gogebic: 59 degrees

Decibel level of shrieks emitted after submerging onesself in lake Gogebic: HIGH

Amount of sheer joy created by the simple act of taking a hot shower, watching television, and sleeping in my own bed upon my return home: infinite and priceless.

I will post pictures when I return. Wish me luck. I think I am going to need it

17 Comments:

Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

A teeny tiny part of me understands why you are doing this.

The rest of me is shouting, "No Meghan! DON'T GO!"

Have a wonderful time.

9:39 AM  
Blogger EverydaySuperGoddess said...

I pulled it off many times when the DemiGoddesses were small and none of you slackers ever even took the time to notice.

Now that the Demis are teenagers, I'll be able to empathize with your struggles... as I relax on the dock with my stack of trashy magazines and thank the high heavens that it's you and not me.

11:49 AM  
Blogger jenB said...

i am not pro-sugar, but a nice huge sucker will do wonders for keeping a toddler quiet.

good luck! and i think you will have fun, despite the odds.

xo

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Jill said...

Yes, Crazy!
It sounds like a great trip, minus taking the 22 month old :)
Good luck.... and have a great time!

Jill
Co-Founder, Silicon Valley Moms Blog

7:53 AM  
Blogger Lin said...

You're a braver gal than I...Gunga Dinah. Remember to have fun and accept all offers of help, even if they are from your Pa.

Look forward to meeting you at Blogher!

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Kari said...

Ooooh best of luck! :)

(Oh, and I must have been reading via Bloglines too long! Finally punched through to the actual site - love the new look!)

3:53 PM  
Anonymous roo said...

Maybe I'm nuts, but it sounds like it's gonna be a great trip. I'll try to send sunshine your way with my non-existent paranormal powers.

Happy 4th!

11:52 PM  
Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Sweet lord you need valium. Maybe not now but definitely by the time you get back. Have fun...and be careful!

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Jenna said...

I would laugh. Really, I would. But I'm heading out to camp... for nine days... with my eight month old and MY great-grandmother in a similar setting. We do have a working toilet but no shower. Public showers are... fun.

Hope all faired well. Happy Birthday.

(Clicked over from BlogHer)

10:38 AM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

Oh, I know all about outhouses. My fear would be Madge would fall in the hole. I hope she's still in diapers.

You forgot to mention alcohol, but I hope those numbers are high, too.

Good luck! Have fun!

11:34 AM  
Blogger Mary Tsao said...

Oh ya.. and your template rocks! Love it.

11:35 AM  
Anonymous dorothy said...

I just did this in a cabin that did have plumbing, but had unrelated childless people in it, too. Oh, and two children, one 22 months and one 26 months. And lots and lots and lots of rain.

That said, I think you'll be all good. All those extra people to let you sleep, and 5.5 hours isn't bad - we're heading off for 8 each way in two days. And we've done it four times in the past. GAH. My salvation - cheap shit the child has never seen before and a portable DVD player. Oh, and point to stuff, even if it's not interesting. Good luck!

11:38 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Number of prayers offered to you: 2,302

Number of Zoloft needed: Not countable.

Have fun!

9:23 PM  
Anonymous amy said...

Happy birthday! I hope you arrive home, all of you, unharmed.

9:03 AM  
Anonymous H.A.Page said...

What fun, out-of-the modern box memories you will have.

Honestly, other than camp as a kid, I have not had to overnight anywhere that did not have plumbing (except tents and boy scout stuff...).

Hmmmmmm. You'll have to blog about it,.

10:52 AM  
Anonymous Yer pa said...

Meg,

Immediately after the guy on the motorcycle rescued Betsy, he got busted by a State Trooper near the end of the cabin driveway.

Seems a bit rude of the cop.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Oh my god. I hope you and Maggie made it back in one piece and with your sanity intact! What a trip!!

2:29 PM  

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