Prison Slang Mommyblogger, Part 3

Dear Prison Slang Mommyblogger,

I have a situation at work that is causing me a great deal of distress. I am in sales, and one of my coworkers and I had an agreement to work on a large account together. The day before the big meeting with the client, he called me and accused me of lying to him. He told me he was taking the account over, and therefore taking all the subsequent sales and commissions too. I did not lie to him, and I think he planned to sabotage me the whole time. How should I handle the situation?

Please help,

Sunk in Minneapolis


Dear Sunk in Minneapolis,

That motherfucking bulldog needs to get checked for doing you greasy. You better be prepared to put up your fop-fops and duff that rustler out. That knick-knack needs to get mud checked for getting on your leg and then cappin’ it with no explanation. It sounds like he got you down bad. He doowoped your zoozoos! It’s about time you sleeped him sugar. No lie. It’s time to get weezo on his ass.

The crap he pulled with you is just plain spun out, sister. That mofo thinks he’s the tank boss, but he’s got another thing coming. Shady-ass motherfucker is obviously throwed off, nutted up, and off the chain. The man is plain shot-out.

It’s time to put a heat wave on his ass. Get the grapes on this guy from your ace-duces and whoever you have in the car. Catch a square and get ready to re-claim your clavo because this asshole’s about to get flat-weeded. Shit.

Dig this out: go in to his boss and drop a dime on him! Weezo his ass! The Shot-caller has the power to give this off-the-hook nut up a mickey mouse ticket and get him into a wreck. Now, I am not a violent person, but I do hope that man gets tuned up. You get that account back, and keep six on the guy. Take it to the square if you need to. Make him bitch up. Don’t be afraid to be a toosh-hog. The man needs to be checked, plain and simple. Then he can bounce. There is no need for you to get crossed out for his dope-fiend move.

Best Wishes

Prison Slang Mommyblogger

Translation:

That manipulator needs to get pay for what he did wrong. Don’t be afraid to duke it out. That loser needs to be confronted for sucking up to you, and then talking trash about you iwith no explanation. It sounds like he underestimated you. He stole your commissions! It’s about time you took a shot at him. No lie. It’s time to get aggressive.

What he did was wrong.. He may think he’s in charge, but he’s got another thing coming. He is in the wrong, and he is behaving very irrationally. It’s time to watch him closely. Get information about him from coworkers you trust. Then take a stand, and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and take that account back.

Speak to your manager and explain the situation. Your boss can handle any required disciplinary action. Now, I am not a violent person, but I do hope he getrs what’s coming to him. You get that account back, and don’t forget to keep an eye on this guy. Stand up to him if you need to. Make him take responsibility. Don’t be afraid to be harsh. He needs to be made aware of his error, plain and simple. Then hopefully, he will leave you alone. There is no need for you to suffer because of his lack of professionalism.