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Thursday, September 29, 2005

 

My mind is an illegal weapon in many states.

Got this from Julie,
who got it from Badger.
And I saw it earlier this week over at mothergoosemouse

In all my childhood sin and dysfunction, I deviantly read all of the highlighted books below on the "banned book" list. Most of them were read when I was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest (But I saw the movie!)
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (But I sw the movie!)
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King Who can forget the euphemism "dirtypillows"?
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

SO THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!! If I hadn't read all those books, I wouldn't be able to think as critically, or form my own opinions. Therefore, I would not be as disgusted by the BIGOTED MORONS who ban books! If only these books had been banned, I would have no idea how infuriating it is to have people try to tell you what your children can and can not read. Any idiot can use their powers of observation to notice what their children are checking out of the library. It takes a real control freak to try to control what is available in the FUCKING library.

I suppose they're right. I mean, after reading "Go ask Alice" I became a drug addled prostitute at the age of 12. Then, I became a lesbian after reading "The Color Purple". I also committed suicide after reading "Ordinary People" because those books made it all look so COOL.

Oh Dear... there I go again.

9 Comments:

Anonymous madge said...

Banning books that teach children about their bodies? Yeah, that's how teenage pregnancy happens. Dumbasses.

Captain Obvious reporting for duty.

9:49 AM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

Thanks for the link and for carrying on the battle too.

My girls are gonna be such deliquents...all this filth on their bookshelves and they're not even in school yet. And Tacy is most certainly doomed, named for that little Lolita - Anastasia.

1:52 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

I can't believe that schools still ban books! I've read several books on that list too, and I wish adults would realize that you can't shelter kids forever, and actually they'll just rebel the more you try. I've been following the "intelligent design" vs. evolution debate, and it's scary what's happening in the public schools today.

7:27 AM  
Blogger Prego said...

You're all heathens and smut peddlers. I think kids should be reared on a steady diet of Bibles. That'll learn 'um.

I think Vonnegut, Miller and Blume make good kindlin' and toilet paper. Donne? Yeats? Plath? If the Lord ate alphabet soup, he could sh*t better poetry.

Repent, lest thee be cast into a see of the burning blood of sinners. I'm pulling my kids from your cess pool!

9:23 AM  
Blogger Prego said...

Sea, that is. You see that? I just read the label on a ketchup bottle and Satan's already wreaking havoc on my spelling in retribution.

10:32 AM  
Blogger AverageMom said...

I just finished a book of short stories, edited by Judy Blume. If I can remember what it's called, I'll tell you. It was written by authors who have been banned or censored. Excellent reading list, by the way!

2:09 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

I was assigned! to read some of these books in elementary and high school.
Maya, Catcher in the Rye, Color Purple, Handmaid's Tale, To Kill A Mockingbird, Beloved, Flowers for Algernon, How to Eat Fried Worms...

and I grew up in Iowa!

4:07 AM  
Blogger The Lioness said...

And now Piglet has been banned from a county in the UK bcs he offends Muslim sensibilities. I've just finished ranting abt it but I still taste the bile. It's entirely too frightening, what this means.

8:57 AM  
Anonymous dac said...

"Banned", sure. You want it, go to the bookstore. While you chumps are patting yourselves on the back for your open-mindedness, you're missing out on the real problem. Our children are taught junk novels and garbage verse. They aren't taught how to craft a sentence, much less a paragraph, much less a thoughtful and organized paper. They are sent to the internet to do "research". And when the little darlins get to kollidj, they need to spend 2 semesters in remedial English. You people are fools.

7:31 PM  

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