Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, June 16, 2005

 

Running. Down my leg.

I waited 6 dark, crazed, sleep deprived weeks after birthin' Maggie to go for a run. I diligently waited until my 6 week follow-up appointment to make sure I had no lingering tears, abcesses, fissures (scary), or hemorhaging, at least enough to prevent me from performing vigorous exercise.
Feeling pretty excited to finally do something proactive about my jello belly and suddenly wide, suddenly flat ass, I got my gear on, or at least what I could piece together that still fit me, and went out for a jog.
I felt great. It was awesome to be outside. It was awesome to be alone. I was so looking forward to working up a sweat doing something other than eating a turkey melt and appetizer sampler, which is what my workout had been limited to for the previous 9 months. I got about 200 yards into it and that's about when I noticed it.

Pee. Running down my leg.

MY PEE running down my leg.

My first thought "You have got to me frigging kidding me! Haven't I been through enough dear God? A 3rd degree tear, the post partum out-of-your-mind crazies, breast feeding tramua and ultimately failure, sleep deprivation and giving up everything that felt familiar about my life. Everything. "

Now I piss myself.
Isn't that just perfect?

And it's not just when I run. The following are activities that now cause me to piss myself:
Sneezing
Coughing
Jogging
Laughing
Dancing
Reaching for the remote control with a bladder more than half full.

Yeah. It's freaking fabulous.

Welcome to the world of Kegels.
Damn I knew I should have listened to those people! Why didn't I listen? WHY???

3 Comments:

Blogger JB said...

Holy crap! I’m already scared to have children, but you succeeded in frightening me even more. I love my jogs, but I don’t think they’d be quite as satisfying if I had to worry about sudden trickles down my legs.

The things women go through!

7:36 AM  
Blogger Rob Boshaw said...

It will get better as you get stronger. My children's mother went through the same thing.

Try biking instead - you get to move much faster!

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Hee! I have been vigilant about my kegals, and can finally jump on my trampoline without any surprises. It does get better. Really.

8:37 PM  

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