Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

 

Speaking of past the point of no return

Things that frost me:

The little postcards that fall out of magazines and then fall on the floor which leads to my daughter finding them, eating them, and screaming bloody murder as I try to extract the mushed bits of paper from her mouth. How do you think I got the magazine? I ALREADY SUBSCRIBED YOU FREAKING IDIOTS!

Telemarketers, disguised as survey – takers. I don’t have time to wipe the bathroom sink much less take your F-ing survey. I am trying to feed my kid dinner and I am about to pee my pants but I can’t leave her in her high chair lest she start screeching like a banshee. At the same time I am trying to simultaneously cook dinner, check e-mails, mentally balance the checkbook and decide whether to take the next days lunch hour to return shoes, work out, make an appointment for Maggie’s plagiocephaly, grocery shop, or actually eat my motherfucking lunch. Motherfucker.

That ANNOYING Chick who got past Jim by LYING and saying she worked for the public School system so she could get inside my house, try to sell me kids books and give me a fake cutesy schpiel about how they are “PB&J Proof”. Are you stupid? I sure wish my house was “stupid proof”. My kid is 10 months old! I do not feed her peanut butter! You do not have ANYTHING to do with the school system! YOU LIED! AND you are infringing on my 1.5 hour window in between lunch and nap so I can take my daughter to the pool! FUCK YOU! Go take your syrupy cute ass somewhere else. You can’t sell a salesperson. She was probably casing my house for a robbery anyway.

People who get off on talking to you like you are stupid. People who are judgmental and reek of fear and narrow mindedness. People who reveal how small they really feel in the way they condescend to others. People who are exceedingly self-important. YOU ALL SUCK ASS!!!! Are you aware of THAT in your infinite wisdom? Please go pontificate elsewhere you unbearable pretentious BORE. YOU SUCK.

Looks like Mama’s in a MOOD!
Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it BEEEEYYYYAAATTTCCCCHHH.

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