Putting the "MO" in MOFO since 2004

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

 

Sophomore Slump

Based on the Blogs I have been perusing, it appears many blog writers suffer from Sophomore slump and never EVER recover. There are an abundance of 5-entry blogs that have been abandoned. Deserted. There are tumbleweeds rolling through them and vultures circling over head. Gone Daddy, gone.
I think I understand why.
Writing is hard.
Writing is hard in more ways than one. First, it's hard to think of good things to write. Some days you are tired. Some days you just don't feel very smart. Some days you don't feel creative. You don't want to share what's in your head because you don't feel like there IS anything in your head. NOTHING. Nothing but a smattering of random Microsoft passwords and pin numbers bouncing around in your skull. Nothing but "don't forget to pick up milk and water the lawn and you have a 7:30 meeting in the morning".
Second, when I look back over things I have written I start to get really critical. I start to think maybe this is stupid. Maybe I can't write. I look back and it all reads like I am trying too hard and the smell of desperation wafts through my nose into my brain. Maybe any of the excitement I felt when I started this blog has already run its course, and I have gotten all I can from it. Like maybe I am more tired and "in my head" than when I started. Like I just gorged on soda, jolly ranchers and sweet tarts and I am feeling the empty after-effects of a sugar binge.

I suppose now would be the time to examine why I really did want to do this in the first place. I wanted to do this because I was starting to feel lost. I felt like I was losing my identity in a suburban neighborhood with no sidewalks (I SWORE I would never live in a neighborhood with no sidewalks). I felt like I was losing my identity because I drive a minivan (I also SWORE I would never drive a minivan). I felt like I was losing my identity because I am someone's mommy (Okay, I always wanted to do that but in her first act of rebellion Maggie doesn't even LOOK like me). I still want to be Meghan too. I wanted to do this because I felt like I would lose my frigging mind if I didn't start doing something creative. Something that challenged me. Something that made me think. Something that made me feel different from the people in my neighborhood and different from the people I work with. Something that helped me work out some of the laziness and ambivalence that has been threatening to take over my mental state like creeping charlie.

So, there it is. It might not be good. It might not be pretty. I am officially giving myself permission to suck. You know why? Because I am really doing this for me. If any of y'all don't like it, you can go read someone else's blog. Go on now! Go! Get outta here! GIT!
Whoo-Hah that felt good!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Molly said...

Good for you!

12:43 PM  
Blogger Sweet Sassy Molassey said...

Meghan, the more you let go, the better your writing is. Honestly, I've been laughing out loud at your latest entries and I can hear your personality through them.

Keep writing. But don't publish anything before me or else I will get jealous and bitchy and you won't know why, so you will ask me and I will act evasive, like YOU'RE the one with the problem.

8:31 PM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

I hear you loud and clear. Every word.

8:19 PM  

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